Chapter 21 – Valentine’s Day Special
Somewhere in the peak of Badril Mountain.
A slow-paced guitar tune was heard.
Wall of runes was placed all over the place. The peak actually was off limits for any living being. Strange objects and instruments that shouldn’t appear in this current era of technologies were laid here carelessly like a bunch of garbages. There were animated paper cranes that flew around the peak, served as patrols for the master of the place, which normal people couldn’t see with naked eyes. On a big throne-like chair, a spirit was lying lazily while played his wooden guitar.
“Gyl, you there?” a high-quality transmitted sound popped out from a magical object nearby. The owner of the voice sounded feminine.
The spirit stopped his guitar playing. “Call me Good-Natured Spirit, tranny. What do you want?”
“Big news. Jhuju was killed by Arden Gilmour.”
Good-Natured Spirit snorted. “Haahh! That stupid fool finally learned his lesson.”
“You’re still angry because he poisoned his own body before you tried to possess him?” the feminine voice laughed.
“No matter. There’s still a little piece of shit on Yashura Family who had a little bit of talent for ‘Water Flowing Style’.”
“If you want a compatible body for ‘Water Flowing Style’ why did you not possessed Lharu Yashura? He’s the most talented man in his generation back then.”
“Because he’s too fuckin’ ugly,” the spirit grumbled. “I have a standard too, you know. Don’t talk about that old fart again to me.”
The feminine voice laughed again with a pleasant bell-like sound. One who only heard to voice might fantasize a young, shy, and pretty maiden’s laughter, when in fact, it’s a male’s voice.
After that, the transmitted voice reported a lot of news from all around Tiramikal Continent. Even politics maneuver and economic development of other six big continents were told in detail. Good-Natured Spirit was listening with a serious face. And when the report was finished, the spirit received a single piece of golden paper.
“Seems agriculture in this and that kingdom were fucked up. Their biggest alchemist guild still on some shitty scandals too. Damn. I need to start investing in another product,” the spirit muttered after he read the golden paper.
“Ah, that reminds me. Your steam technology was booming in the neighbor continent. A lot of factions tried to steal the blueprint,” said the feminine voice.
“What? Which motherfuckers decided to fuck with me? I’ll massacre their entire clan! I’ll piss on their ancestors’ grave!” the spirit growled. Then he suddenly remembered something, and could only scratch his head. “Oh well, my schedules are actually packed. Those lucky bastards. I’ll kill them all if I have some spare time later…”
The feminine voice was laughing again.
“Anyway, how is your progress on that Yashura child?”
“Horrible,” the spirit grudgingly played sharp guitar tones. “That stupid piece of shit never showing any desire to improve himself.”
“Maybe your method too harsh.”
Good-Natured Spirit shook his head. “The problem is he’s a fuckin’ airhead. I hate those kinds of people. Never know what they are thinking.”
“Hihihi. Don’t forget, you only have five years more until the next leader candidates voting. You might have been a bigshot in the past, but today lots of talented young men sprouted out of nowhere. For example, well, look at Arden’s faction! If only you knew how much he had the ambition for the leader’s throne… oh my! Not to mention candidates from other continents, what I heard they were fierce like you. Be careful.”
“Pfft! Bunch of brats, sooner or later I’ll kick their asses back to their mommy and daddy.”
After the spirit and the voice chatted a bit, later, a purple paper crane descended towards the Good-Natured Spirit. Both of them suddenly stopped talking as the spirit received a dozen pieces of black paper.
“The chatting scene is over. Ladies and gentlemen, some slapstick comedy for your enjoyment, here comes!” Good-Natured Spirit grinned as he waved the pieces of black papers in front of him. “I present you… Shira Chaplin! Or should he be Shira Keaton?”
Pieces of black papers were merging, formed a wide black screen in front of the spirit. Not long after that, the black papers greedily absorbed light from the sun, reflecting them back with awkwardly fast-paced, black-and-white motion picture.
It was a silent film. Titled: “The Shitty Romance Adventure of Shira Yashura.”
The Good-Natured Spirit do a cheerful background music with his guitar.
The first scene was, Shira felt sad from the lonely from his solitude on the hill behind Yashura Family residence.
Then, a letter came.
The young Shira smiled, however, there’s an error in the background shown that he was inside a library.
Title card: “Oh, my first love. After many lonely years passed, you finally remember this humble lover and came to visit this tiring, despair heart!”
The camera was panning an excited Shira who ran across Yashura Family yard.
The frame actually showed a girl with a broom was chasing after the running Shira in the background. But that was only for a split second, no problem to the bigger picture at all.
The next shot was a luxurious carriage that stopped at the front of Yashura Family’s gate.
For three seconds, the scene showed a young elegant-clothed man helped a beautiful yet cold girl from the carriage.
The shot was cut to the talked Shira, title card: “My love!”
After that, the cold girl replied, title card: “I’m sorry, Shira. Let’s break up. We can’t be together anymore!”
Shira Yashura in a different background, blinked his eyes in confusion, title card: “Why?”
The cold girl hesitated for a moment before she replied again. Title card: “Because… I already married with… a bunch of middle-aged dudes.”
The scene was cut to Badril Village festival a few months ago, where a bunch middle-aged men were holding hand and happily dancing in unison.
Then the cold girl said again, title card: “And now I have little kids too.”
The scene was cut to a dozen of children of Badril Village played around the street.
Finally, the cold girl closed, title card: “Don’t ever dream of me again.”
Good-Natured Spirit tried with full-effort to hold his own laughter and changed his guitar playing tune into a sad tragic one.
Shira Yashura, in next scene, was frustrated. He ran swiftly across the forest. However, he didn’t show his face to the camera, probably due to shame. Title card: “NOOOOOOOO!!!!”
The shot after that was where he slept in his own tent on mountain woods.
Title card: “Oh, how cruel the world was. Will I ever find my own true love?”
Suddenly, the background music changed again to an inspiring and uplifting tone.
Shira walked across a field of flowers.
In this scene, he finally found a true love that he overlooked before.
The youth in love approached. Title card: “Oh sweet maiden of destiny! How foolish for I not putting my whole heart after all the time you were waiting for me!”
The next shot; a gorilla stopped at whatever it was doing, which was nothing, and slowly turned its hideous huge head….
And the gorilla said, title card: “You finally notice me, senpai!!! Let’s get married!”
Shira, inside a library background, calmly nodded. Title card: “Okay. Let’s get married.”
Final title card: “And in the end, Shira and Gorilla live happily ever after.”
The Good-Natured Spirit laughed out loud while he literally rolled on the floor.
After he calmed down, the spirit patted the purple paper crane’s head beside him. “Oh, my cute paper crane friend. Well done! You really made me miss my old world now!”
“Oh! Sounds fun!” the feminine voice commented, as he really couldn’t see the fun silent film that Good-Natured Spirit watched before.
The film screen became pieces of black papers again, instantly flew toward the Good-Natured Spirit.
“I’ll make sure that damn lazy brat will watch this after the final cut!” the spirit said enthusiastically. “Oh, there’s actually a sequel? Damn, is it a Valentine’s Day Special or something?!”
Good-Natured Spirit didn’t hesitate to play the second film.
It was titled: “The Shitty Romance Adventure of Shira Yashura 2: My Harem Went Wrong”
The first scene. Shira Yashura and his wife gorilla fought a brutal battle.
The gorilla was furious, threw trees around to vent its anger. Title card: “You shitty husband! You don’t care for me and our child in my stomach anymore!”
Shira tried to argue, shown from inside Yashura Family’s library. Title card: “That’s not true! My loves are eternal!”
The gorilla went mad hearing his reply. Title card: “Loves? Plural love? How many women are there actually in your harem?! I’m your first true love, dammit!”
Suddenly, the shot was cut to a barked dog. Title card: “How shameless! You two were married when I was pregnant by my handsome secret boyfriend Shira! I’m his true love!!!”
Then the shot was cut to a moo-ed cow. Title card: “I’m already milking two Young Master’s children when you shitty women are still virgins. Dream on!”
However, the scene was cut again. A random angry horse that was shown neighing hard. Title card: “Gurlz pls. I ma da legendary long-lost childhood friend! You three bitches better dream to become mah Shira’s first true lovah!”
Good-Natured Spirit rolled on the floor again, couldn’t even hold his loud laughter.
Shira was judged because of his poor management of his own harem.
The scene was; the panic Shira gripped hard inside a big, golden fur elite gorilla’s hand.
The elite golden fur gorilla said, title card: “Any last word?”
Shira, in the gorilla’s grip, title card: “…”
Then, the elite gorilla warned him by uttering a serious life lesson, title card: “In the next life, you better think twice before you do polygamy.”
After that, the elite gorilla threw Shira into the air.
The thrown Shira was crashed hard on the ground.
Yet, with broken bones, Shira managed to stand up again. His face was ferocious. Title card: “Fuck.”
He picked his short sword that laid on the ground. With a stumbled steps, he charged toward the elite gorilla!
Good-Natured Spirit was amused by Shira’s bravery and stupidity. He knew the last moment was actually what happened in the real life. After he was thrown, Shira lost his mind, and actually dared to fight an Elite Monster head on!
Naturally, the good guy Good-Natured Spirit helped his young friend by playing a thrilling, full of energy guitar background music.
He called the background music with title “Training of Hell”.
He expected the Elite Monster to beat the shit out of Shira this day. That will be a hard lesson for the lazy bum.
And in the scene, the elite gorilla howled. Charged toward the youth too.
Shira slowly walked with his sword.
Good-Natured Spirit’s guitar strings suddenly snapped. He flabbergasted.
What happened in the scene was different from what he thought before. It was a horrific scene, full of blood.
There, Shira Yashura stood alone with his sword. On the ground, the elite gorilla lied lifeless with his stomach guts were spread all over the place.
The silent camera observed the close-up of Shira Yashura’s face.
His eyes were bleak, dark-colored eyeballs that had no pupils. One glanced and one would know that he wasn’t Shira Yashura from before.
Then, with an audible, deep, and hoarse voice, the bleak dark-colored eyes Shira Yashura said something toward the camera:
“The mountain, the sea, and the sky await!”